


How far will you go for me?

by Awae2020



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Class Differences, Engagement, Family Drama, Green Gables, Heartache, Hope, Love, Love Letters, Multi, Paris (City), Post-Season/Series Finale, Renew Anne with an E
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awae2020/pseuds/Awae2020
Summary: During a sleepless night Diana realizes how much she thinks and cares about the boy she dumbed in the forest after an argument with her bosom friend. But she does not only have to deal with her feelings of a forbidden love, as her parents have already chosen the path of her future life: She will attend a private school in Paris to come back to Avonlea as a noble lady to marry a rich man in her home country.Will Diana follow her parents’ wishes or will she choose her own path?
Relationships: Diana Barry & Jerry Baynard, Diana Barry/Jerry Baynard, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	1. How do you know if it’s love?

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader.  
> This is my very first Fanfic at all. I was so unhappy with the ending of the short love affair of Diana and Jerry that I decided they need to have a real chance! Also other couples are mentioned but the main focus is on Jerry and Diana.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story! (please be patient with me because English is not my native language)

The moon shone brightly through the open window while the curtains swayed slowly up and down in the gentle breeze. Diana sighed. She turned from one side of the bed to the other with her pillows tightly clasped between her arms and tried desperately to find sleep. How was that even possible? She must have been lying awake in her bed for almost three hours now, rolling from side to side, but sleep just wouldn't come over her as usual. 

"How is that possible? Why can't I fall asleep! I have school tomorrow."

But all the whining didn't help, because the inner pressure to fall asleep made it even harder for her to really fall sleep. She gave up.

"In that case, I'll try not to sleep at school."

She got out of bed, tiptoed to her desk, looked for a small box with her fingers, shook it and a small match fell out. She pressed it against the rough side of the small box and created a flame. With this flame she lit her little lamp. She took the lamp from her desk, turned around, went straight back towards the bed and placed it on her bedside table so that the head side of her bed was well illuminated. At the same time, she took the book that was on the bedside table and turned the pages to the passage where she had stopped:

“ _ROMEO: What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp. Her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand; O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!_

_JULIET: Ay me!_

_ROMEO: She speaks. O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art. As glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winged messenger of heaven. Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him, when he bestrides the lazy-puffing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air._

_JULIET: O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet._ ”

  
Diana paused and closed her eyes.

Each time she stopped at this scene she dreamed herself into the role of Juliet. Young, beautiful and in love for the first time as she stood on the balcony in Verona, breathing in the warm Tuscan evening air and dreaming of the boy who had turned her head around.

Diana smiled. She wished that she would fall in love with someone as much as Juliet did.

She opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow. But only without two families that are enemies and without a tragic death in the end. She would not need that. But the romance, yes, she definitely wanted that.

She closed her eyes again, stood on the balcony of the Capulets and the evening sun shone down on her, she danced silently humming on the balcony towards the railing further and further until she looked down. She looked down at the young Montague who looked quite similar to someone she knew -

“Diana - you have to get up immediately, otherwise you'll be late for school" - Her mother tore her from sleep in a shrill voice.

"Uhm yes...of course mother, I hurry..." That's all she could say, completely drowsy.

She lifted her head from the pillow and looked at the window through which the sun was shining straight at her. "I knew that today I would wake up exhausted..." she mumbled, yawning and rubbing her tired eyes.

She slowly left the bed and as she put on her school clothes, she thought back on the dream that made her feel delightful. She closed her eyes and brought the scenes back to her memory until she came to the part when she looked down from the balcony into Romeo's face. She opened her eyes immediately.

"Why, why him?" she asked herself with a frown.

But before she could think about it any further, she heard her mother from the ground floor calling for her again.

* * *

  
At school, Anne had at least managed to distract her from her thoughts with her sunny nature.

"Dearest of all Dianas, would you like to brighten my day with your sparkling mind on Green Gables? We haven't talked for such a long time and I'm dying inside thinking that I don't know what's on your mind right now and you don’t know what’s on mine.”

Diana smiled. She knew that Anne wants to talk about Gilbert again. After their confession for each other Anne was talking about nothing else than Gilbert. And of course Diana liked to listen to it and spend time with Anne, but there was also this one boy who completely took control over her mind since last night.

She felt an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach and turned to Anne, telling her that they should probably find another day for it, but when she turned to her bosom friend she saw a big smile on her face and her eyes with such an expectant glance that she couldn’t say any word. 

"Please Diana, please! Marilla said this morning that she is baking a cake! We can have tea and talk about girl stuff." Anne clapped her hands with joy. The euphoria in her eyes literally jumped over to Diana. She smiled. 

"All right, then. I'll let my mother know that I come over to your house for tea - although maybe I shouldn't use the word tea and you in one sentence.” They both had to laugh by remembering their last tea party when they unfortunately drank some kind of liquor instead of juice some years ago.

* * *

  
On her way from the Barry's estate to Green Gables, Diana fantasized about meeting the boy that was in her head all day - Jerry Beynard. 

She did not know how to react if she might really meet him at Green Gables. 

Should she greet him and act as if nothing had happened between them? Should she disappear immediately into the ground? Or even - she took a deep breath - apologize?

She stopped and took another deep breath. Was it even appropriate to apologize after this long time?

After all, it had already been 2 months since she furiously yelled at him in the forest and slammed the mementos of their brief romance in front of his feet. When she thought about it, she was so ashamed of her own behaviour towards him.

She had taken out her anger and grief over her argument with Anne on him. Would they still be wandering secretly through the forest today, if Anne and she had not argued like that? 

She did not know.

  
The closer she came to Green Gables, the more her heart pounded and her stomach became queasy. She expected Jerry to come around the corner any second and they would face each other. After two months. After so many unspoken words. 

Diana could literally feel the tension and adrenaline rushing through her body. But why? Because of her guilty conscience? Because she wanted to see him again? She couldn't find an answer so spontaneously. When she reached the gate, not Jerry, but a joyful Anne ran towards her. 

  
"Diana! Finally you are here, you haven't been visiting us for such a long time."

Diana smiled back to her friend.

"Matthew, Marilla and Jerry are in Charlottetown, we have the whole house for ourselves.” Anne took Diana's hand and they ran together across the property to the house.

As they ran, Diana felt a wave of relief that she avoided an embarrassing reunion, yet she also felt a touch of disappointment as a part of her would have been very happy to see Jerry again.


	2. An unexpected reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana realizes that Paris is her only option and finds comfort at Green Gables

"Minnie May! What are you doing? Elbows don't belong on the table!" scolded Miss Barry to her youngest daughter as she rushed around the table.  
Mr. Barry didn't even look up from his newspaper and Diana also just sat silently next to the scene while taking a sip of her tea.

Her mother was now standing next to Minnie May, adjusting her elbows so they were no longer on the table. "Sometimes I feel like you are doing this on purpose to annoy me."

She braced her hands against her hips and shook her head uncomprehendingly why her daughters struggled so with the etiquette of young women. "But no, Mother, Minnie May is only nine! At this age you can forget one or two etiquette rules," Diana replied calmly.

Mrs. Barry looked skeptically at her eldest daughter for a brief moment as she joined her family at the table.

"Now Diana dear, have you thought about which things you are packing for Paris?" her mother asked in a sweet voice, looking at her with a big smile on her face.

Paris.

The fate she couldn't escape now after all. Her stomach tightened.

Dianas original plan was to go to Queen’s with Anne and the other girls to begin her studies in teaching. But about two weeks ago, a letter arrived from Queen’s.

Diana had been so excited when she held it in her hand. But when she opened and read it, tears welled up in her eyes. _"... The admission committee has carefully considered your application and we regret to inform you that we will not be able to offer you admission in entering class of 1899 or a position on one of our alternate lists….”_ At that moment, her world fell apart. How could this be? She had good grades! Even Josie had been accepted. She still remembered how her mother tried to comfort her. "Diana, don't worry about it! It's just not meant to be! I'll send a letter to Paris right away, I hope they are still interested in you." And then she was gone, leaving Diana behind along with the letter.

\- "Whereby. You'd better take only one or two dresses with you. You can buy the rest in Paris, while you live in the capital of fashion." - Her mother was really euphoric. Diana felt anger. Her mother had been talking about nothing else since the letter of acceptance arrived from the school in Paris. Paris here. Paris there.

"Darling, I think Diana would like to enjoy her breakfast now without going over her entire stay in Paris with you." Her father folded up the newspaper and looked kindly at his wife.

Mrs. Barry could not understand why her husband and her daughter reacted so unemotionally. For her, going to Paris would have been the greatest thing when she was young. She found their reaction almost... ungrateful.

Diana spent her day imagining her life in Paris. On the one hand, she really wanted to see this city after reading so many novels about it. But on the other hand, there was only one reason why she should be there: becoming an elegant lady to attract and marry a rich man. Why did she have no right to have a say in this topic? Whereby ... Did she ever have a say in important fields of her life? What clothes she had - her parents decided. What interests she should practice - decided by her parents. With whom she spent her free time – decided also by her parents. What education she received – decided by her parents.

She was jealous of Anne. She was free. She could be as she wanted and everyone loved her for it. Diana was like in a glass prison.  
Her mother was so concerned about the image of the family that even the wishes and needs of the individual family members were suppressed if they did not fit into the image that they presented. And everyone in the family silently tolerated this.

When her head was full of thoughts, she decided to go for a walk in the fresh air. She grabbed her thin jacket, put on her shoes and walked along the driveway from her house to the gate of the estate. She turned right and ran towards Green Gables as if she had been remote-controlled.

About 200m before the fence, she stopped. Tears welled up in her eyes and her lower lip trembled. In less than a month she wouldn't have the chance to run to her best friend. She would be all alone in a strange city that was so big that people lived in anonymity in it.

She covered her face with her hands and cried bitterly. Until suddenly she heard a voice and felt a warm big hand on her shoulder.

"Diana! What's wrong? Are you all right?"

Looking up, she looked into an old gentle face. Matthew must have recognized her from the courtyard and had walked to her. "I.....I won't be in Avonlea in a month."

She burst into tears again at the thought. "But that's not so bad! You'll be at the university with Anne and the others. I thought you were all looking forward to it so much."

"You don't understand Mr. Cutberth. I got a rejection....so my parents are sending me to Paris."

Matthew looked at Diana in surprise. "Anne hasn't said anything at all-" 

"-Because I didn't tell her. I didn't tell anyone because I was so ashamed."

Matthew softly patted her back. "Why don't you come into the house for now? Marilla will make you tea, and Anne will be back here by supper time, too.

Diana nodded and apologized for her outburst. Matthew just smiled and accompanied her to the property. Meanwhile, she wiped the tears from her cheek and tried to be brave.

On the way to the house, she caught a glimpse of Jerry, who paused and looked her way. Their eyes met for a brief moment and Diana felt her heart beat faster.

Marilla tenderly cared for Diana, and she was glad to talk to someone who took her seriously. "You know Diana, I can talk to your parents again if you want."

Diana shook her head. "It won't do any good. My mother's already so committed to the idea that she won't let me talk her out of it. And Paris itself isn't bad, I guess. It's just that after this, my parents expect me to find a rich man and marry him. What if none of them can make me happy?"

Marilla smiled. "I think you're worrying way too much. I wish that one of these men wins your heart. And just remember: you are still so young. And I heard there are very handsome men in Paris, and educated ones too." She winked.

"But what if I fall in love with someone who is not ... rich". She immediately thought of Jerry. Her parents would never allow such a thing.

"I firmly believe that even then you will find a way to convince your parents of your choice. Even though your mother seems very controlling and sometimes cold, she loves you and your sister more than anything....and didn't she also allow you to go to Queens if it had worked out?"

Diana paused for a moment. But before she could say anything, Matthew came in, dropping off his work clothes at the entrance of the living room.

"We’re done for the day. Jerry's going to close the barn doors and come in too."  
Diana looked from Matthew to Marilla in confusion.

"Jerry has a room at our place now, so he doesn't have to walk so far from his parents’ to us." Diana nodded as a sign of understanding.

She had totally forgotten that Jerry was now living at Green Gables. Her stomach went all queasy and she became very nervous. Were her eyes still red? What did her hair look like? "I....can I go to the bathroom for a minute?" She stood up and walked to the restroom.  
The light shining through the window was just enough for Diana to see her own reflection. She washed her face with cold water, fixed her hair and tried to calm down. So this was the first time they were seeing each other again. She smiled. Of course, she was destined to see him again in this state and not when she came to visit Green Gables perfectly groomed.

She laughed at the irony of it. "What does it matter? I'll be in Paris in a month." She opened the bathroom door and looked over to the dining room table where Jerry now sat looking at her with a smile.

During dinner, Diana tried to avoid any possible eye contact with Jerry. She knew that if he looked at her, she would turn bright red. The soup that Marilla had prepared was delicious. "Where is Anne, anyway?"

"She's late from time to time, but I think she will show up any minute."

Diana wished she would show up as soon as possible to get her out of this situation. It wasn't so easy to ignore Jerry, who was sitting directly in front of her.  
But she couldn’t resist and glanced in his direction noticing that he wasn't looking at her at all. She felt a little disappointment. So she started looking in his direction longer now. At some point, he had to look at her. But Jerry was eating his soup and exchanging ideas with Matthew about some technical problem.

"Diana, Anne has already told us about the plans you have for the last day of school. I think it's so wonderful that you are putting in such effort for your teacher." Suddenly Jerry looked to her and Diana felt unable to answer. She opened her mouth, but neither could she take her eyes off Jerry nor did a word come out of her. Only after what felt like an eternal moment she was able to shake off this paralysis and answered. "Yes, it was Anne's idea. We've already got everything set up so we can have a nice last day on Monday."

She could really feel the blood rising in her cheeks and she must have been sitting at the table with a red head. That's why she decided to eat her soup with her eyes lowered so no one could see her face.

When everyone had finished eating, Matthew went to the bathroom and Marilla washed the dishes. Only Diana and Jerry sat at the table. They both remained silent for a while.

"When you arrived earlier, you looked very sad. Did something bad happen?"

Diana shook her head. "It was just my emotions acting up. I -" She looked at him, noticing how he was hanging on her lips, "- I'm going to Paris after school."

She could catch a brief expression of a twitch on his face.

"Wow, so you are going to Paris after all...what happened to Queens?"

"I got a rejection letter and that's why Paris is the only option." Jerry tried to cover his emotions with a smile. "Then I wish you all the best there. It was nice to see you again."

He rose from his chair and went up the stairs, looked at her one last time and disappeared to the second floor. Diana looked at the stairs for a while before deciding to make her way home.


	3. Time to say goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the disappointment of the rejection new disappointments are on their way. But Diana takes the courage to stand up to her feelings.

Diana had tears running down her eyes so beautiful but also so sad was the last day of school. She had already spoken to Anne in the morning about her rejection at Queen's, who then gave her best friend a tight hug and showed her disappointment, and shed a few tears.

"Promise me, though, that we'll write to each other as often as we can and see each other at Easter and Christmas!"

Diana nodded with a smile. "I'm going to miss you so much!"

"I'll miss you too!".

And so the last day of school in Avonlea began.

When she returned home at noon, her parents were already waiting for her. Her mother with a joyful look, her father with a smile.

"How was your last day at school my dear?"

"Very nice, we had a lot of fun." Her mother stood up and took her in her arms.

"I am proud of you." Diana looked at her mother in surprise.

"Proud of what, Mother?"

"That you did so well in school."

Diana smiled. It was nice to get a compliment for once that wasn't about her looks.

"Come and sit down, your father and I need to talk to you."

Diana took off her shoes, put her basket in the hallway and went into the living room where her parents were already waiting for her on the sofa. She sat down on the free armchair.

"What's the occasion?"

Her parents exchanged a glance before her mother spoke to her.

"Well, since you've closed the chapter on your general education and we think you're ready to take the next step, we have a little surprise for you."  
Her mother was smiling from ear to ear after that sentence.

"That's why we've decided that it makes perfect sense not to wait any longer and you're already spending the summer in Paris! It is supposed to be beautiful there and so you have time to get to know the city and also new people. And for the reasons to not have to lack anything, we have bought you a small apartment in Paris."

Diana looked shocked.

"You bought....me an apartment? How...how is that possible...you have been here all this time?"

Her parents looked at each other in turn and laughed.

"You know. Your father has a good friend whose brother lives in Paris. When we told him that our daughter was going to Paris, he told us that it would make more sense to buy an apartment there instead of just renting one. And then he showed us pictures of a potential apartment and we thought it would be perfect for you!"

Diana didn't even know what to say. An apartment of her own in Paris? Wasn't that a little over the top?

"Thank you. But why did you buy me a whole apartment?"

"Well, if you're already going to Paris tomorrow, the school isn't open yet and can't offer you a room."

"But I'm not going to Paris until September."

"Surprise my darling! We already bought you a ticket for tomorrow, so you still have intensive time to explore the city."

Diana felt like she had been struck by lightning. "To...tomorrow?" was the only thing she could get out.

"You should pack your bags! How convenient that you've invited some friends for tonight, then you can still say goodbye."

She was so paralyzed she couldn't even get up from her chair. What had her parents been thinking? That they could just push her off like that from one moment to the next? She couldn't even say goodbye properly...

She realized how she slowly overcame the shock and became angry. Angry that her parents had once again taken all the decisions away from her. Why couldn't they just give her a day to herself?

"We know this all seems a bit rushed, but since school is out we wanted to give you a nice vacation in Paris. And since we loved getting to know your new home we also got tickets to Paris. And you know that your father can only take more than a week off in July and beginning of August without it affecting the business."

But Diana paid no attention to her mother's words, went into the hall to put on her shoes, and angrily left the house.

As she ran quickly to Anne, she thought about what she was going to do for the less than 24h before she sailed to another continent. She reached the estate completely out of breath. Anne had already seen her open the gate and ran to meet her.

"Diana! It's so good to see you!" She hugged her tightly and Diana also put her arms around Anne.

They stood like that for a while until Anne pulled her out of the embrace.

"What are you doing here? I thought we weren't seeing each other until tonight?"

Diana struggled with tears. "My parents are already taking me to Paris tomorrow."

"TOMORROW?!!!" blurted out Anne. "Are you serious? Why?"

"Because my dad can only travel for the next three weeks and they think I should as well spend my free time there."  
"But...then this is our last meeting tonight!" Anne was also fighting tears. "I don't know what to say..."

Both girls were now in each other's arms, crying.

"Anne, can I ask you something unusual?"

Anne looked at her best friend. "Of course, you can ask me anything."

"If you were in my place now, and you and Gilbert were, let's say not yet at the point you are now, would you tell him how you feel about him before you disappear from Avonlea for an extended period of time?"

Diana blushed at the question and hoped Anne didn't suspect she was referring to Jerry.

Anne looked up at the ceiling and considered.

"I don't know, I suppose so. Because if he didn't have feelings I could get over it and never have to wonder what might have been. And if he does have feelings for me, maybe I'll be lucky enough to have him come with me. Oh Gilbert..."

Anne was just drifting off into her own world. There were rumors that Gilbert was planning a proposal for Anne and when Anne heard about it she spoke of nothing else and smiled like a honey-cake horse.

Diana was immensely happy for her best friend and wished that she would be so lucky some day, too.

What if Anne was right.

Would Diana regret it if she didn't express her feelings to the boy she kept thinking about?

"Say Anne, where is Jerry today anyway?"

Anne mustered Diana and Diana realized that Anne was combining question 1 and 2.

"Diana, Diana, didn't you dump him about two months ago?"

Diana's face turned bright red.

"I...I guess it just took me a little while to realize how much I care about him."

"And he doesn't know about his luck I suppose?"

"No-I'm afraid to tell him. Afraid he won't return my feelings, and if he does, it will make the current situation that much more complicated.... I think I have feelings for him and I was hoping to see him a few more times this summer before I go to Paris after all."

It took some effort for her to say these words but she felt better now. She looked at Anne, who was sitting on her bed with a smile on her face.

"Then why are you still here? Go say goodbye to Jerry before you leave us here in Avonlea."

Diana smiled and hugged her friend.

"Thank you! Thanks for encouraging me and keep your fingers crossed!"

"Oh by the way: Jerry is with his parents today. It's about a 15 minute walk from here."

Diana waved and happily descended the stairs to the first floor and out of the house. As soon as she was out of the house she started running toward the Baynards.

Sweaty and out of breath, she stood in front of a small house that she had stood in front of about 3 months earlier. She fondly remembered the evening she spent with the Baynards. An evening filled with joy and no pressure of expectation.  
As she got closer to the house, she already heard the dog barking and less than 10 seconds later Mr. Baynard already came around the corner.

"Bonjour, Madam Barry, right?"

"Bonjour Mr. Baynard."

"It's nice to see you here again, can I help you?"

"Oui. Is Jerry here then? I'd need to speak to him for a moment."

"Sûrement. He's out back wood-chopping"

Mr. Baynard pointed his finger in the direction where she could find Jerry and Diana thanked him. But before she could leave, she was greeted by a little girl.

"Princesse! Vous êtes de retour."

Diana laughed as the little girl ran up to her and hugged her. Mrs. Baynard ran after her daughter.

"Hello Ms. Barry, it's good to see you! Excuse me for Susanne, I couldn't stop her when she saw you." 

Diana smiled. She was happy to be greeted so warmly.

"Is there anything we can do to help you? You're probably going to look for Jerry, right?"

Diana looked at Mrs. Baynard and nodded.

"Yes, I heard he was chopping wood. I'll go check on him."

She was already taking a step forward, and Mrs. Baynard smiled at her while trying to restrain her daughter.

Diana shook her head and smiled. What on earth was she doing? And what must Jerry's parents be thinking?

As she walked around the house, she saw Jerry working...

She was startled for a moment because he was wearing nothing more than just pants and no shirt.  
He did not see her, because he stood with his back to her.

Diana looked at him while he was lifting the axe to split the wood in front of him.

She looked at his bare skin and at the same time felt a desire to touch it.

She had never seen a man without a shirt. She stood a little distance away from him for quite a while, imagining how it must be feeling like touching him. How he kissed her and pressed her firmly against his bare chest with his muscular arms, which were particularly well displayed in this activity.

"Diana?"

  
Jerry snapped her out of her daydreaming and she winced briefly.

"What are you doing here?"

He turned to her and now stood topless directly in front of her. Diana tried to look him in the eye and not at his body.

"Oh sorry..." he reached down to the ground and picked up his shirt, which he must have taken off due to the summer temperatures, and pulled it over his head.  
Diana blushed.

Jerry grinned and now stood right in front of her, also a little overwhelmed.

"I wanted to say goodbye to you before I leave for Paris."

Jerry looked at her, puzzled.

"Anne said you weren't leaving until September?"

"That's what I thought, too. But now it is supposed to start tomorrow.“

Jerry looked even more confused now and Diana saw him trying to hide his disappointment.

"It's nice that you still thought of me. I wish you all the best on your trip and hope you enjoy Paris." He tried to put on a smile.

Diana gathered her courage.

"I'll miss you."

Jerry looked at her in wonder. "I'll miss you too..."

Then Diana stepped closer to Jerry, put her hands to his face and kissed him. Jerry was very surprised, but he returned her kiss and slowly put his arms around her waist. The kiss was not like the kisses they already exchanged at the beginning of their short affair, but it was more intense. Diana pressed her lips against his and felt his tongue slowly opening her lips. She almost melted with happiness and arousal as his tongue touched hers and dug her hands into his hair, which was a mess from work. When their lips parted she looked into his eyes with a wide smile. He smiled as well.  
"Wow, that was.... Unbelievable!"

Diana smiled and nodded. She noticed that she still had her arms wrapped around his head and his hands were around her waist. How nice that felt.

But she broke away from the embrace.

"Take care of you Jerry. I hope to see you again soon."

She blew him a kiss, smiled and disappeared behind the house.

As Diana left Jerry she felt happy and free. And ready to start her new adventure.


	4. Time to say goodbye II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Diana kisses Jerry goodbye he wants to make sure she won‘t forget about him in her absence.

What was that?

Jerry stood rooted to his wood-chopping spot while he watched Diana disappear behind the corner of the house.

Was this just a dream? If so, he wished he would never wake up from it.

He ran his fingers over his lips, which Diana had kissed so softly but demanding before.

But before he could think further, his big brother was already coming around the corner with a big grin.

"Jerry, what was that? Wasn't that the girl who used to have dinner here with us?"

Jerry only managed to smile and couldn't get a word out.

"Congratulations brother, you really picked a cutie there."

With that, he tackled him with his elbow and kept walking, shaking his head. Jerry rubbed his shoulder and couldn't stop grinning.

* * *

At dinner, the spontaneous kiss between Diana and him was the number one topic of conversation.

"Jerry, isn't that the Barrys' girl?"

"Yes, she is."

"Why is she interested in especially you?"

"Didn't you tell me she was going to Paris?"

"Well, what's going to be the next thing with you two...?"

His family literally bombarded him with questions.

"She's moving to Paris tomorrow."

His family's euphoric mood really sank.

"Can't you stop her?"

Jerry shook his head.

"But has she said anything else to you? Are you seeing each other again?"

Again, Jerry shook his head. "Her last words were "take care" and then she left."

"You have to go to her," his sister interjected. "We women expect a man to make the first move. In your case, Diana was already brave enough to kiss you. If you want to kiss her again the next time you meet, make sure you at least write to each other regularly while she's away."

Jerry smiled. "Won't it seem strange if I seek her out again?"

A collective shake of the head could be seen around the Baynard table.

Jerry grinned as he ate his soup. Never did he think the family council ever gave advice on a Diana Barry situation.

"Okay. So I'll go to her and just tell her I'd like to write with her while she's away."

Everyone nodded. Jerry hadn't expected such an unequivocal answer.  
Still, he felt that was the right decision.

"Okay, I'll do it after dinner."

His sisters clapped and his brothers jeered.

* * *

Before Jerry left, his mother pulled him aside.

"Jerry, do you really have serious feelings for this girl or are you just going because your siblings are pushing you?"

Jerry shook his head. "I like her a lot. More than a lot, actually. I think I'm in love with her."

He smiled. His mother stroked his cheek.

"You've grown up so much so fast. I can remember when you-"

"Mom, please!"

"Oh Jerry"

"It's not that easy since her parents would never accept a man of my means at her side."

"If you like her, and she likes you, you should fight for it. You are a Baynard, and you need never feel small for your background. You are such a gifted, kind-hearted and lovable man, and I am so proud of you."

A tear ran down her cheek and Jerry took his mother in his arms.

"Thank you mom, that means a lot."

"Wait a minute, I have a little something."

She disappeared into her sleeping niche for a moment and a moment later pulled out a small pouch which she handed to Jerry.

"This is a charm I got back in Orleans, before I met your father. I want you to take it and give it to your Diana."

Jerry looked at his mother with wide eyes.

"I got it as a gift at the market that time from an older lady who said that someday the time will come when I will give this necklace to someone else myself. And I think now it all makes sense."

She smiled as she placed the small bag in her son's hand.

"Now go before she's gone."

Jerry smiled and hurried to get to the Barrys' estate.

* * *

Once there, he noticed a number of young people who were at the Barrys' estate. They were standing outside the door and Jerry could see from the gate that someone was opening the door and the guests were going inside.

Was she throwing a party? Jerry tried to recall possible conversations with Anne about a party. He entered the property unnoticed and hid behind one of the bushes for the time being, observing the situation.

How had he actually imagined this? To ring Diana's doorbell and hope that she and not her parents opened the door?

The plan was not well conceived.

He reached into his jacket pocket with his left hand and clasped the piece of jewelry that was in the little bag. He had to get to Diana somehow. And so he spent quite a while behind the bushes to make a plan.

Meanwhile, the sun was already setting and no new guests had come for a while. Was that all of them? What were they celebrating anyway?

He gathered all his courage and crept around the bushes until he stood in front of the door. His heart was pounding with excitement.

What would he do if this time not Diana but one of the guests opened the door? How would Diana react?

He took a deep breath and was about to knock on the door when he heard a voice.

He turned around, caught, and saw Gilbert, who was just walking through the gateway.

"I didn't know you were invited to our school-is-over-party, too."

He laughed and greeted Jerry.

"Oh yeah, the school is over party, yeah, um no, I....."

"It's all good, I won't tell anybody that you are here. What are you doing here anyway? Did you accompany Anne here? I thought she'd been here since seven pm."

"Yeah, well no...I didn't accompany Anne." Jerry was insanely nervous.

"Then why are you here?"

Gilbert examined Jerry with a questioning look.

Did he seem like a burglar? Or should he tell Gilbert the truth? He didn't know what to say and when he saw Gilbert's examining look he could guess how stupid he just came across.

"I ....sorry, I think I should probably go now."

He avoided Gilbert's gaze and walked past him.

"Wait, so you're not here for the hostess?"

Jerry stopped automatically and looked to Gilbert. "How did...?"

"Don't worry, Anne told me, you guys had something going on there once."

Jerry's jaw dropped. How on earth could Anne?

As if Gilbert could read minds he replied: "Don't worry, she only told me and threatened not to tell anyone. And if you ask me, I think you would make a nice couple."

Jerry felt a little high in his stomach and relaxed.

"If you want, I'll talk to her about coming out for a minute."

Jerry nodded.

"That would be really nice. I still want to say goodbye to her."

Gilbert nodded and headed for the front door.

* * *

Jerry waited behind the big oak tree while Gilbert went into the house.

He heard the door closing and he dared to look out from his hiding place. But no one was there.

Jerry took cover again.

Had someone other than Diana opened the door? Or did she just not feel like talking to him? Or had Gilbert lied to him? His thoughts circled wildly in his head and he felt his heart pounding and had no idea how to stop the mind carousel. Had it been a stupid idea to just come here and now he was destroying everything with his action here?

His head told him to leave the estate, while his heart ached at the thought.

But before he could decide for his head or his heart, he heard the front door open and quiet footsteps coming his way.

By now his heart was up to his neck and he turned his head in the direction from which the footsteps came. There he saw a dark silhouette with a dark dress and long dark hair turning her head left and right as if she was looking for someone.

"Shh!"

The dark figure stopped short and walked toward the noise.

"Jerry!"

Diana grinned from ear to ear when she saw him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you for a minute before you left, because earlier I was just...well,...too stunned to say anything."

At that, he smiled shyly and looked down at the floor.

Diana said nothing, but looked at him expectantly.

"Well, our timing really isn't the best, but I want you to know that I really like you..."

Diana's eyes lit up when Jerry said that.

"...And that's why I'd like to get it right this time..."

Dianas looked at him a little confused.

"I'd like to get to know you better while you're away, I'd like to know what you like to do, what makes you happy, what you want out of life, and most of all, I'd like to get to know the real Diana Barry, and not the one her parents are telling her to be. When you visited us back then I felt like you were being yourself for the first time"

Diana smiled but she still didn't know exactly what he was getting at.

"Jerry, I'd love to,...but how do you envision it?"

"Let's write letters! Lots of letters until you get back from Paris." As he said this, he took her hands in his.

Diana looked deep into his eyes and nodded.

"Yes, of course! I was going to write to you anyway."

Jerry's heart jumped.

They both faced each other, Diana's hands in Jerry's, and it felt like time stood still for a moment.

"I think I need to get back to the party now."

Jerry slowly let go of Diana's hands.

"Oh! I have something else for you, by the way!"

Saying that, he pulled the small bag with the necklace out of his jacket pocket.

Diana looked at him in surprise and took the little bag in her hands.

"Jerry, you don't have to-" but Jerry simply nodded and indicated that she should open the gift.

She pulled the necklace out of the bag and looked at him in amazement but delight.

"It's beautiful! Jerry, thank you."

At that, she fell around his neck and Jerry felt his heart pound with joy. When she broke away from the embrace, their eyes lingered on each other for a moment and Jerry couldn't help but kiss her.

Their kiss was passionate and demanding and Jerry hugged the girl tightly while Diana wrapped her arms around his neck. He could literally feel how much she desired him, by the way her tongue demanded entrance and the way she buried her fingers in his hair. The kiss was even more intense than the one in the afternoon.  
The speed of their kisses increased and he thought he had never been so close to anyone. His heart raced and he felt a desperation inside him that grew with each kiss.

How could he desire someone so much?

"Jerry, we should stop before someone sees us."

Their bodies slowly separated and they both faced each other with reddened cheeks. They looked at each other shyly.  
"I'll write to you as soon as I step on dry land in France."

At that she smiled.

"I'm glad you came to see me again, take care Jerry and don't forget me."

"How could I ever forget you Diana?"

She smiled and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"I'll be back soon! And then we'll pick up where we left off."

Diana moved away from Jerry and he still watched her until she disappeared into the house. He smiled.

Yesterday he would have laughed if anyone had told him how his day would go and that Diana Barry would kiss him twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much who read the story until here!!!
> 
> Next I will make a jump into the future when Diana will arrive home from Paris.


	5. Different than expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It‘s spring 1901. 
> 
> Jerry is still working at Green Gables but thanks to Anne he got accepted to a weekend school in Charlottetown to get a proper education besides his hard farm work.  
> Also after almost 2 years Diana is coming home from Paris. And there are rumors that she is not coming alone...

  
_**April 12, 1901 - almost 2 years later** _

Jerry wiped the sweat from his forehead. It was insanely warm for April in Green Gables.

He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt while he let his eyes wander over the fields.

Matthew would be back from town soon and he wanted to be done with the sowing by then. But his thoughts did not revolve around the work but around tomorrow.

The day he had been longing for since the summer of 1899.

* * *

When he had finished his work, he went into the house where Anne was having a lively conversation with Marilla.

Anne was overjoyed as she told of her adventures.

Her life seemed perfect: she was attending Queens’ college, which challenged her intellectually and since last summer she had been married to Gilbert - the love of her life - as she called him.

"Jerry, come sit with us! I was just telling Marilla how my roommate Stella and I took a short trip to the sea last week, riding in an automobile for the first time."

Jerry sat down with the two women and listened intently to Anne. Soon they heard Matthew come through the door.

"Hello together. Anne! So glad you could come and visit us."

Anne hugged Matthew and told her story with the automobile one more time.

"Have you heard Anne, Diana is to come back to Avonlea tomorrow."

Anne looked a little saddened at her stew while Marilla talked about it.

”Mrs. Barry has been talking about nothing else for almost two weeks. Her plan to marry Diana off rich now seems to be working. She is bringing her fiancé with her."

Jerry almost felt sick at these words. When he had first heard this rumor on the way to school in Charlottetown, it had hit him like a punch in the pit of the stomach.

So she was finally engaged.

Not with him -as he had fantasized for many nights when longing had overtaken him and he had been unable to sleep because of lovesickness - but with someone else.

A nobleman from London as he had heard. Fred Wright, whom she had met in Paris and apparently fallen in love with.

"I'm glad for her. How long is she going to stay?"

Anne and Diana had been out of touch for almost over a year.

Anne had invited her to her wedding but Diana had neither shown up nor sent her a reply. She had simply… disappeared.

Jerry had also received the last letter from her in the winter of 1899. Though he had written to her. So many times he had asked for a reply. For a sign of her wellbeing, if she was okay in the foreign country and when she was coming back home.

But Diana was gone. And he had apparently also disappeared from her mind.

"I don't know exactly how long they will stay. But you're welcome to ask her that yourself tomorrow. Her mother has invited us to a small dinner party on Sunday and hopes we'll come."

Anne was puzzled.

"I don't know Marilla. I haven't heard from Diana for more than a year."

"Still, I'm sure she'd be happy to see you." Anne nodded with less than conviction.

"Jerry I hope it's okay if you're here alone Sunday night."

Jerry waved it off.

"No problem Marilla, I should be visiting my parents again anyway. That'll be just fine then."

* * *

As Jerry walked to Green Gables at dawn on Monday morning, he had an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

He knew that Anne would tell him everything in detail about her evening at the Barrys' today at breakfast.

And Jerry would have to pretend he does not have any emotions.

As if it was information he wouldn't be interested in anymore.

God, if he hadn't just lied to Anne's face last summer that he didn't care how Diana was doing, and if he hadn't instead brought that girl from school to the wedding that Anne was constantly asking him about. Yet he had felt nothing for her and had simply tried to suppress his hurt feelings for Diana. At the latest when he met her parents and the topic of _engagement_ came up he had gotten cold feet and broke up with her. Since then he had become the target for mean comments from the girls at the weekend school. But he didn't care. He couldn't marry a woman he didn't love.  
  


As he had predicted, Anne really talked about every detail of the dinner at the Barrys'. She and Diana had apparently talked things out, because Anne was even more excited than usual.

Jerry grabbed his sandwich and left the table.

“Jerry, don't you want to sit with us for a minute?"

He shook his head. "No, no time, I have to go to the barn…cleaning."

And just like that he had escaped from this conversation.

As he was busy spreading the hay, he heard Anne enter the barn.

"Hey Jerry, are you all right? You were gone so fast at breakfast today."

"Yeah Anne, I'm fine, I just wanted to get started on time so I could finish everything today."

"Matthew said you've been working like crazy for almost two weeks and he's already having trouble giving you work to do by now."

Jerry smiled briefly.

"There's always something to do at Green Gables."

"We're having visitors this afternoon, by the way."

"That's great. Is Gilbert coming over with Bash and Delli? If so, now Bash really needs to tell me how he managed to get his corn to grow so fast and tall last summer."

"No, Diana was going to come over with Fred. She wanted to show him where we used to spend our time when we were young."

Jerry was struck by hearing her name.

"T...to...today?"

"Yes. Marilla is baking pies for us right now."

Jerry froze. This couldn't be happening!

If he had known, he would have faked any symptoms so he could stay in bed. Or therefore he would have had to stay at his parents’ house.

"We'd love if you join us for coffee and cake... you and Diana , you both used to be... close."

A brief tug went through his chest.

"It's a shame you two fell out of touch. I really thought at that time that she had found someone she loved.”

She was silent for a moment and tried to look forward.

“But now, each of you just has someone new..."

After these words she grinned at him and watched his reaction. He had told her several times the girl from school was not more than a short adventure but Anne loved to tease him with this girl.

Jerry just nodded absently. Right now he was not in the mood to react to Anne‘s teasing.

"Well, I'll go and get ready. I'll see you later inside for coffee and cake."

* * *

Jerry watched as a carriage drove up to the gate of Green Gables and for the first time in his life he wished Anne would rush to the gate to open it for Diana and her fiancé.

But neither she nor Matthew came.

So it was his duty to open the gate.

He had never felt so uncomfortable and poorly.

When he arrived at the gate, the coachman had already climbed down from his seat to open the doors of the carriage.

Jerry's heart was beating up to his throat and he saw a well dressed man getting out of the carriage.

And before he could examine him, he watched a soft hand reach for the man's hand, who was helping her to get out.

And before he caught sight of her the coachman interrupted him as he stared.

"Lad, can you please open the gate for these two?"

"Of course."

Jerry opened the gate leaving enough space for a dozen carriages to pass.

"Hello Jerry."

At the sound of his name he now looked up at the couple who had just arrived.

"Fred, this is Jerry, he helps Matthew with all the work on Green Gables."

"Hello Jerry, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Can you escort us to the house, please."

Jerry looked at him.

Fred was a tall man with curly blond hair, a pale face with an arrogant expression on his face in his opinion and a suit that fits far too perfectly.

So this was the kind of guy Diana from Paris went for.

Now he looked at her. And even if he didn't believe it was possible, he found her even prettier than in his memories.

She wore a long dark blue dress that showed off her small waist, her hair was pinned up and she looked at him at least as puzzled and surprised as he looked at her.

When their eyes met, all the disappointed expectations of the past year suddenly came crashing down on him. How he sat in his chair in the evenings and prayed that she would finally answer him. Just a little message, a tiny spark of hope that she was thinking of him. Or at least any reaction at all. But barely 4 months after she left Avonlea, she wrote nothing anymore.

In her last letter, she assured him that she would be home for Christmas and couldn't wait to see him, how much she missed him and how hard it was for her to connect with the other girls in Paris.

But at Christmas she did not come. Nor on Christmas the following year.

Not even to Anne's wedding at which he was sure he would finally see her again.

He nodded politely and accompanied them to the entrance of the house. Along the way, he paced in front of the two, trying to avoid any possible conversation.

"Thank you Jerry for accompanying us."

Arriving at the door, Marilla welcomed the two guests, gleefully, and Jerry escaped the situation by muttering about still having something to do in the barn.

Once inside the barn, he closed the door behind him and sat down on the ground. He felt the urge to cry, but he didn't want to give himself the embarrassment.

The world was unfair. In this world where the rich only married the rich and the poor always remained poor.

What chances did he have? He attended school on weekends, but he would never become rich.

He had neither land nor money. Only his manpower as well as 100 other men beside him.

He stayed in the barn until dusk came and then went outside.

He saw the guests saying goodbye to Marilla, Matthew and Anne just at that moment. Marilla waved at him, indicating that he should open the gate and escort the guests outside.

He nodded and approached.

He escorted them from the property to the carriage, which was already waiting for the couple at the gate.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay at Green Gables. Have a safe trip home”, he said.

"Thank you, I think we did, didn’t we sweetheart?"

Jerry's gaze drifted to Diana, hoping she reacted to the nickname sweetheart as shocked as he did.

But she didn't. Why should she? He probably called her that all the time.

"We really had a lot of fun. Thanks for walking us out, Jerry."

As she spoke, she avoided eye contact with him. That hurt.

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

As Jerry closed the gate, he watched the carriage drive away. Today had been by far the worst day he had ever had at Green Gables.

He tried to ignore the lump in his throat...at least until he was alone in his room.


	6. The end of misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Diana for the first time after her return with her fiancé Jerry is glad he can get some distance visiting Charlottetown for his weekend school. Little did he know that this ride will chance his view on things...

  
Jerry left the house early in the morning with Matthew to catch the train to Charlottetown on time.

This weekend he had school on Friday and Saturday, which meant he could leave Green Gables and the events of the last few days behind for at least 2 days.

He was glad to get some distraction.

Even if it was in form of school and the already starting preparation courses for the final exams in early summer. He actually liked going to school.

But the question whether this extra education would help him in his life and his "career", he could not answer at all.

He was lucky to be early. So he was able to get a seat next to an older man.

It had happened before that he had to stand all the way to Charlottetown because every seat was occupied.

As soon as he sat down he opened one of his textbooks and read it while the train filled up.

After a while, the train rolled off and headed to Charlottetown.

As he closed his book, he looked through the crowd on the train and caught sight of a standing Diana and that actually _stood_ not far from him. The image seemed so strange to him that he stared at her.

Diana Barry on the train without her fiancé and standing instead of sitting.

Even though it cost him some effort, he got up from his seat.

A gentleman did not sit while a woman stood. At least that's what his mother had taught him.

As he stood up, several people looked up at him including Diana.

He indicated that she could sit on the empty seat and she smiled and squeezed past the other standing passengers. "Thank you."

As she sat down Jerry could smelled her perfume and he could not prevent to think about all the times they were so close that he could also smell it. His memories of her were like a faded dream. A nice dream to wake up from someday.

While Jerry looked at her longingly, she opened a small book she was reading and sank into her own world.

* * *

After almost 15 minutes and 3 stops the older man asked Diana to stand up briefly, as he had to get off.

Jerry took the opportunity and sat down next to her.

She didn't even look up from her book.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

She had her long black hair braided into a tail so that her beautiful face was well displayed. She wore a little blush on her cheeks so that they had a soft pink tone.

His eyes wandered from her face to her neckline and what he saw there really surprised him.

She was wearing the necklace he had given her as a parting gift before she left of to Paris. Joy flooded his body.

He looked to her ears to see if she was also wearing the earrings he had sent her to Paris as a Christmas gift.

For which he had had to take a part-time job in order to afford them. He could still remember working at Green Gables during the week, going to school on the weekends, and taking weekend night shifts at a steel factory.

He had been so proud when he walked into the jewelry store, totally fatigued to buy the earrings as a Christmas gift for Diana. 

But he had never received any response or feedback from her about his gift.

Diana must have noticed his glance because she turned her head toward him.

"Can I help you?"

He shook his head and looked away.

He felt idiotic thinking about how he had imagined meeting her barely six months ago compared to how it really was now.

She just wasn't interested in him at all.

Anger came up in him. Why had she given him so much hope back then when she was going to drop him afterwards anyway?

Why had she kissed him so passionately and assured him that they would keep in touch?

If that hadn't happened, he thought, he would have saved himself a lot of grief.

And on the other hand, he had so many questions he was desperately seeking an answer for: Why had she broken off contact? Why hadn't she responded to his gift? And why was she so cold to him now?

He had to know.

And when he thought about it like this, now was the perfect time for asking her: no Anne, no fiancé, and no way to escape the situation.

"So why are you on your way to Charlottetown today?"

Diana's gaze lingered on the paper of her book.

"I'm going to visit my great-aunt Josephine. And you?"

"I'm going to school, I have classes today and tomorrow."

She still didn't look up. "That sounds good."

Was she serious? So you couldn't even have a conversation with her anymore? So what! Then he could get right to the point then.

"It's nice that you're still wearing that necklace that I gave you."

She looked up startled and touched the necklace with her right hand.

"That...that doesn't mean anything. I just...I like it."

Jerry smiled as he saw her cheeks flush under the blush.

"Did you like the earrings, too?"

She was looking directly at him now. Puzzled. "Which earrings?"

"The earrings I sent to you right before your first Christmas in Paris."

She looked at him even more perplexed.

"I never received earrings from you."

Now he looked at her skeptically.

"Of course, I sent them to you in Paris."

"Jerry you never sent me any gift to Paris-" she averted her gaze from him and murmured softly so Jerry could barely hear "-let alone answer."

Jerry rolled his eyes and scoffed.

Diana looked at him angrily. "What’s wrong with you?"

"I could ask you the same question! Since you've been back you've been acting like a..." he paused for a moment because he had never said such a nasty word to a woman before.

"Like a what?"

He could see her anger right in her eyes.

"I don't want to say that in front of a lady."

She only got angrier. "How dare I have to listen to this from you right now! Yet you're the one who acted like an _asshole_!"

Jerry's jaw almost dropped...he never expected such an expression out of Diana Barry's mouth.

"You left me hanging! Back when I needed you. You promised me you'd be there for me."

He could see her eyes glaze over. Only he didn't know if it was from anger or because she was truly sad.

"What are you talking about? You're the one with the fiancé."

She shook her head and stared into her book.

"That I even have to have this discussion with you..."

Jerry didn't understand anything anymore. What was this all about? Was she trying to play some reverse psychology bullshit here to make him feel guilty?

"Diana!"

She didn't respond. He touched her on the arm.

"Hey, what do you mean by that line? I didn't do anything wrong."

She looked at him now with tears in her eyes and full of anger.

"Then I'll explain it again for toddlers: I wrote you just before my first Christmas in Paris that I couldn't take it anymore. That I find my classmates terrible and also all the lessons. And that I need you! That's why I took all the money I had saved, earned extra money by taking piano lessons, went without dinner every night to bed for a month to get enough money together so you could come to Paris to save me! I hoped that if I sent you a ticket, then the whole nightmare would end. But you didn't come. You just weren't there when I needed you the most!"

Jerry looked at her in stunned astonishment.

"Diana, that's not true! I never received a ticket from you. And no letter in December either. Your last letter came in November."

Her facial expression still radiated anger.

"Well, sure, and I’m the president of the U.S…”

He turned to her carefully.

"I'm serious! I really received the last letter from you in November 1899. I...I wrote you so many more times...didn't you ever get the letters?"  
She shook her head and looked at him skeptically. They were both silent for a brief moment.

An idea flashed in Jerry's mind.

"Could it possibly be...that someone intercepted the letters?"

Diana seemed to listen to the suggestion.

"You mean that someone deliberately tried to prevent us from having contact?"

Jerry nodded.

"Well, that would be the only possible explanation. I've written you a dozen more letters; it would be very strange if they really had all been lost."

For a brief moment her facial expressions relaxed and she looked him in the eyes. Jerry felt his heart pound as she looked at him.

"No, no, no that’s not possible."

She tried to push the idea out of her mind but Jerry could watch his words working inside her. After a moment, she looked at him again.

"You know what's funny? I haven't heard from Anne since January 1900 either. I didn't even get her wedding invitation....maybe there’s really something to it."

She looked straight at him again.

"Please Jerry, you have to be honest with me: Did you really not get another letter from me? Or are you just saying that to avoid appearing bad?"

Jerry shook his head.

"Why would I lie to you? I don't get anything out of it...you are, after all...engaged."

His mouth formed into a put-upon smile.

He saw it working in Diana's mind.

"I know who it was...of course."

He looked at her expectantly.

"It all makes sense all of a sudden! The broken contact with you and Anne, the ones really interested in my happiness. And now that I'm engaged I suddenly get to come home again." She looked straight at him. "I'm sure _my mother_ is behind this."

They both had to digest this information.

Jerry had believed all along that Diana had stopped answering him because she had no feelings for him anymore and Diana had thought the same thing about Jerry.  
He couldn't believe it. He looked over at her for a moment.

"May I ask you how long you continued to write to me?"

"Until February last year. I sent you a letter every week."

She looked at him with her big eyes."

"Wow..."

"And you?"

"Until last summer."

"I can't believe you actually bought me a ticket to Paris." Jerry had to grin. "Believe me, if I had received it, I would have dropped everything and come to you."

"That would have been nice."

_Diana's last year and a half flashed before her mind's eye._

_How her parents spontaneously decided in early December that they would come to Paris to spend Christmas with her._

_How they constantly claimed that it was way too stressful to travel home and that she should stay in Paris after all and she had never, but never, investigated further._

_She had hated it in Paris at first. The girls were just as her mother wanted her to be._

_Pretty, naive and obedient girls whose greatest happiness was to marry. To marry rich._

_She had been bored at so many dinner parties and had to listen to some oh-so-important gentlemen telling her what they had not already achieved._

_But while they told her their life stories, she had always escaped to Avonlea mentally. To Green Gables where Anne and Jerry were waiting for her. She would have given anything to be there._

_At school, they went over table etiquette rules for the 25th time, followed by "small talk for aristocrats" to the course in which they were taught where to meet rich men._

_She struggled to make connections with her classmates, but what she loved about Paris was the freedom without a watchful eye from her parents. Aside from classes and a few evening dates a month, she could do almost whatever she wanted._

_Eating ice cream on the Seine, reading in the park, she even went swimming once at a local swimming pool, although her parents considered it sacrilegious for people to watch her do it._

_During many of her experiences, she had thought about how nice it would be if Jerry was here. Here they could be together. Pretending to be a married couple and holding hands in public._

_How nice that must be._

_Motivated by this thought, she had offered piano lessons for privileged children and sublet her apartment for 2 months, skipping dinner every day until she had enough money to buy a ticket from Canada to Paris._

_She was so proud when she bought the ticket and mailed it to Jerry._

_And then she waited._

_And waited._

_And waited._

_But he never came._

_At school she soon had to show results, if she was already seeing someone and how she was doing and the more time went by the harder it was for her to find excuses._

_She swore to herself in early February to make one last attempt to contact Jerry before she surrendered to her fate. In tears and praying to God, she wrote her last letter to him. Neither appeared, nor did he reply._

_She remembered the heartbreak, the sleepless nights crying and the many moments when she just wanted to run away.  
_

_But at some point she got herself together and she started going out again with her fellow students in expensive restaurants and cafés._

_And all of a sudden she met Fred in the fall._

_In a small Parisian cafe - her favorite - when she was buying Eclaires for a picnic with the other girls. He seemed educated and attractive to her and Diana decided to give him a chance and to finally escape her sadness._

_They met once a week and talked about all kinds of topics and Diana was delighted how smart and charming he was. They climbed the Eiffel Tower together, picnicked in the park, visited the Louvre and ate at the city's chicest restaurants._

_In December, he confessed his love for her and asked her to accompany him to London, as business took him back home. She accepted his offer and traveled with him to London for Christmas._

_As soon as she announced at school who she was meeting and that he had confessed his love for her, she was suddenly part of the group and the others girls admired her and asked her for tips. At that time she felt as she was where she belonged to be at the first time._

_Later, in early March, Fred proposed to her which she accepted. They planned to visit her family at the beginning of April to announce the good news._

_But she couldn't deny that she thought about Jerry from time to time. Increased when Fred bought their tickets to Canada. She wondered how he was doing. Was he already happy with another woman? Had he thought about her at all?_

But how did she now deal with the information she had just received from Jerry? What would her life have been like if she had received all the letters and Jerry had really come to Paris.

A tear ran down her cheek.

"Diana, are you all right?"

She shook her head.

She looked at him with glassy eyes.

Did the information change anything? Did she still feel anything for him? And did he still feel anything for her at all?

She tried to read an answer in his face.

While she was looking at him, she noticed how grown up he had become.

Already on her trip to Green Gables she recognized that he no longer was a boy who is slender and tall and sometimes clumsy in his movements, but now well proportioned.

His face had more contours than it did then and she realized that he probably had to shave every morning now. His face was tanned by all the work he had to do outside but his hazel eyes still sparkled like in old times.

He was a handsome young man.

She looked at his lips, which she had dreamed of feeling on hers for so many nights. She wondered if they were still so soft.

At the same time she remembered that she and Fred had never kissed so passionately.

But before she could think further, the train slowed down and pulled into its destination.

At the station, the moment to say goodbye had come.

There was still so much Diana wanted to ask Jerry, but he had to get to school. He, too, looked like he didn't want to leave just yet.

"How long do you have class today?"

"Until 4 pm.“

She had expected he would have until 1 pm at the maximum.

"Oh. Okay."

He must have realized she was expecting a different reaction.

"You know, we're just going over final exams today anyway. I want to invite you for coffee."

Diana smiled brightly. "Yes, I'd love to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little bit longer than the other chapters but I think this one is an important turning point for the upcoming events.  
> If you liked the chapter or you have any remarks feel free to comment :)


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